Raising eyebrows- One At a Time

A post from bed

2010-02-15T18:50:00.000-08:00

First post from bed. Guess I need to think. Remember when I said being sad drives me insane? Well maybe it doesn't, perhaps I'm just learning to cope.
Thank God for JMRAZ.

This post was written to distract myself.

2010-02-14T05:29:00.000-08:00

I told myself I'd just take a 10 minute nap
Then wham
I wake up at 8.30pm.

I find it so much easier to define emotions and points of views in poems rather than prose. I guess it's because I don't have to explicitly spell out everything in poems, since I get to be vague.

Song writing is lovely, but somehow it seems...shallower than writing poems. Unless I learn to write music to my lyrics I'm going to have to freestyle and scribble down words before I lose them.

I remember Fizah complaining: "the handwriting is terrible!" when she was trying to read my lyrics. Somehow I don't feel ashamed of my handwriting any longer. Firstly, I was scribbling the lyrics down before I forgot them. Secondly, School has done something to me. Somehow I've found so much of my identity as an FMS student.

Perhaps it just gives me license to say: "Hey, I'm from FMS" to anything, especially when people tell me I scribble.

I love it.

P.S Fizah, ILU, happy V day! ^^

Still needs refining, but.

2010-02-13T06:46:00.000-08:00

Capo 1
C G C Am F

first
we stay
then
we say
look well this is dear
but we've got to move on
before this gets older by the minute

who
am I to say
this might stay
I have no idea because
I'm trying to sit in your shoes
And I just don't see

I don't see why I repeat it all
then find myself lost for words
I haven't got the strength
So give it up

Oh dear
Here we go
spiralling down again

really baby
don't you know
it's really all a pain

take my hand
we'll convalescent
and take care of that lane

anything but music
anything is hell
anything for you perhaps
if you'll give me a steer

it's a sad sad story
of how you could be
the only one for me

are you sure this is what you want
because an aries in love could be a slant

CNY blogpost

2010-02-12T23:38:00.000-08:00

first
we stay
then
we say
look well this is dear
but we've got to move on
before this gets older by the minute

who
am I to say
this might stay
I have no idea because
I'm trying to sit in your shoes
And I just don't see

I don't see why I repeat it all
then find myself lost for words
I haven't got the strength
So give it up

I don't get why I'm so depressed this CNY.
For a start, we're not visiting, which is EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED.
So you see I don't know what is wrong with me.

I think emotions got too high yesterday, I don't think I could survive an Arctic Monkey's concert without exploding.
Yes Kristen? Yes.

So against my better judgement, Kristen and I bus danced to Arctic Monkeys on the way to the Museum. Best bad decision ever. ILU Kristen!
Apparently we shook the entire bus. ^^

Now I'm sitting in front of my computer, fingers on the keyboard, and trying to start on my assignment.

IKR. Tell me about it.
TMAI < shall we use that FMS DPA?
ILU all xoxo

Bah can't write

2010-02-06T01:17:00.000-08:00

It's 12 a.m again
I'm wondering if this means anything
The stars are in the sky
Where they're supposed to be

I can't turn you into another boy
Oh by golly I love your point of view
I can't do it without coming out
alive

Did you see the train pass
In the rain where we just
Or perhaps it was just my own
.
.
.
I lost my phone.

Sorrz, phone is on extended vacation.

2010-02-06T01:06:00.000-08:00

Hi all, I've lost my phone.

So if you've tried to contact me I'm sorry I can't reply!

I keep reaching for it but it isn't there. Guess who's feeling uncomfortable?

Sweet sweet caffeine

2010-02-01T02:43:00.001-08:00

This morning, Dihar absentmindedly asked me: "Keziah do you want to get coffee?"

I went: "Yeah I think so! I didn't really sleep. I should right? "

Then she went: "Wait no no no no you cannot!"
She's so lovely.

Then as usual, I am deprived, and I deprive myself of the lovely poison that is coffee.

Now I know why I don't title my songs

2010-01-25T01:05:00.000-08:00

C Am F G
Capo 1

I left half my heart on the dance floor
Baby maybe you know just what to do

The competition's heating up like
Stones baking in the summer sun
I'm just setting off trying to
Keep my feet on the ground
Then you appear and you
Pull me right off track and now I

I'm sitting on the highways
Waiting for your show-times
Wondering where I am and
What I'm doing this time
Don't know where this is going
Baby maybe I'm just a little crazy now

I left half my heart on the dance floor
Baby maybe you know just what to do

Anchor no?

2010-01-21T04:56:00.000-08:00

Look at me. I keep starting sentences with that 3 lines.

Look at me I have no anchor
Who needs anchors?

If you looked up
Would you consider a
fly-away balloon
A lost cause/
Or a finally purposeful
entity?

V v v v short reflection.

2010-01-18T07:20:00.001-08:00

Hi, I liked the first day of school I guess.

Oh Winona, you were completely right about Mr Tio. He is AWESOME hahahaha he kept whipping out his camera to take pictures of the whole group. Okay now this feels like MSN/FB.

Abstract thoughts anybody? Cos now this feels like a whiny boring all-about-me-post. AH NVM.

Lets pray I'll not be late tomorrow.
Come on traffic jam, gimme marmalade instead.

Cafe Gratitude okay so I totally ripped this title off JMRAZ

2010-01-16T06:15:00.000-08:00

Oh hey I just thought I should start writing again.
I've probably lost all my readers by now, if I had any. It's all iffy.

When nothing works, write a Gratitude post. It always works. I haven't got much mood for that now though, who reads this stuff anyway?

Thank you:
-NPP staff and student leaders for your presence and efforts
-Group and course mates for the lovely lovely time.
-Mark Wong for keeping me occupied/keeping me from sleeping the night before the camp
-I'm tired.
-Oh yes, thank you teachers in ZHSS, you've made my secondary school experience a wonderful one.

So many people still think that the polytechnics in Singapore hold the less intelligent students etc. I'm not here to be angry about that, because it really doesn't matter after you've met everyone there.

To be honest, I feel out of my depth. Everyone is so capable and holistically developed, I feel completely underdeveloped. So much for a sheltered life in academia. >.>

Thanks academia. Okay, now here goes nothing.
See you on Monday!

The eyeshadow conversation

2009-12-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

Does inspiration equate to creativity or the lack thereof?

Lots of people claim: "Oh, I read this/saw this person's work, and I was inspired to make one too."

Would you consider that copying?

I feel like everyone around me is becoming very intelligent/ is very intelligent, and that my IQ decreases accordingly. Doesn't anybody let up around here?

Sibyl and I were at some make up store today, and I spotted this eyeshadow range that had tiny flecks of random, contrasting colours in it.

I ask the sales lady what the specks were there for, and do they affect the colour of the powder when applied?

She says no.

Then I ask, are they there for decoration only? Pure aesthetic value?

She laughs nervously and doesn't seem to answer me. I take it as a yes.

So, you pay an extra dollar for pretty specks of colour in your eyeshadow cakepan that dosen't make a difference when you use it?

She smiles-frowns and says, I think so.

I'm amazed.

Scattered Thoughts

2009-12-15T02:14:00.000-08:00

Urge to blog.

I wanted to scan up some of my kid photos here, I found some while I was clearing old photos.

But I think my mom put them away and I'm really not motivated enough to dig them up.

I have no internet access at my sister's house, so I have a feeling I'm trying to squeeze every bit of the internet out here.

Oh and it's been a whopping 7 years.

I'm excited to be playing Josephine for a film project! Hope it goes well!
Thank you Winona for the opportunity! :D

Escaping Logic

2009-12-03T00:38:00.001-08:00

Escaping Logic

Posted using ShareThis

Blog Boredom

2009-12-01T03:16:00.000-08:00

I'm at a loss. I believe its out of a lack of productive things to do :(

And then again I'm tired. Tired of writing, advertising, taking pictures and making Hot Whale products, reading, surfing the net and reading mindless internet musings.

I found www.writerscafe.org, which gave me a nice amount of things to do for awhile: upload poems, and type in Trashy Novel.

But dun dun dun dun

writerscafe.org is inaccessible. Are they carrying out site maintainence? I've been spending so much time on it for the last 3 days that I now feel lost and uneasy without it. It been an entire day its gone AWOL.

Maybe I should stop developing obsessive emotional attachments to everything.

Come back writerscafe. :(

I am now inspired by Eliada's pictures of her baking.
I have itchy oven mittens.

I have cool parents.

2009-11-28T17:41:00.000-08:00

I don't have my glasses on right now but I just have to blog this. There might be spelling errors since I can't really see what I'm typing.

I just awoke and stepped into the kitchen and OMG my dad said: "Keziah, don't be crazy over lady Gaga, shes..."

And then my mother interrupts him: "I think shes a man."

Ooookay, parents. Don't worry, I'm more a JMRAZ fan.
0.0

Hotwhale Advert- Hotwhale is now GO!

2009-11-26T08:38:00.000-08:00

HOTWHALE Accessories is now go!

SHOP @ www.hotwhale.blogspot.com now to buy the best feather hair clips, and headpieces at the BEST prices on the market.

Pieces going for prices from $4.50-$9.00.

Don't miss out, purchase a Hotwhale accessory before its gone!

WWW.HOTWHALE.BLOGSPOT.COM

BEST. EVER.

Tell the whole world.

Hot Whale

2009-11-25T08:43:00.000-08:00

Lovely.
I've been working on the launch for Hot Whale, and its going pretty well.
I finished the site design today and got all the administration work done...hope it goes well at launch!

The photos are going up tomorrow, but soon I've got to start mass producing the pieces. ><
Solid plans for advertisement are underway- I've got vague ideas but I've got to make concrete ones.

Maisie likes the feathers. I think she might maul a bird if she got her paws on one. Really.

And when Hot Whale does well, I can expand into another: Hot Zebra

Can't wait, but its so ridiculously time consuming and tiring. Guess I found a job!

Oh, boy. Vampires.

2009-11-21T07:18:00.000-08:00

This has got to be procrastination.
Really. I am hurtling towards a deadline where I am accountable to my entire cell group tomorrow morning, and I'm not finishing my prep for bible study. Oh help.

On another note, I know some people are already sick and tired of listening to me talk about my vampire dream but its so darn hilarious that 3 days have passed since I dreamt that and I'm still laughing about it.

In my dream, this vampire dude intentionally keeled over and fell to the floor, and said dramatically: "I am dead forever!"

>< Its so ironic since the whole vampire thing entails immortality and all....ah maybe you don't even need me to explain.

I woke up laughing. And three days later, I'm still laughing. Its funny, because on a somewhat related subject, Stephanie Meyer, the author of the really popular vampire series (Twilight. If you don't know that you've been living under a rock.) conceived the story because of a dream.

Hey Ms Meyer, I've got a sequel/prequel idea! And guess what, I DREAMT it too!

2009-11-12T03:15:00.000-08:00

ONE MORE DAY

and then I really need a job.
I am completely sure that I will rot at home and waste life if I don't get a job.

Besides, whats not to love?
I get experience (That I can put on my resume)
I get something to do
I get money

And everyone knows money=clothes, presents for everybody etc.

Yes?
Okay employ me now.
Now.

LAST PAPER TOMORROW
I don't know what I'm going to do with my time.
Oh btw, #peastorm is going to be just awesome.
Ask me.

2009-10-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

The Ultimate Paradox: You are unique, just like everyone else is.

Yeah, you're unique, I'm unique. So what? Our uniquity is the monotony.
Like they say, the only consistency is in the inconsistency. Somewhat.

I officially declare Miss Tan SL the best Math teacher in the world.
I predict a tribute coming.
Because she is the most dedicated, content full, patient and nurturing teacher around that actually managed to pull up my math grades.

No teacher has ever accomplished that.
Today she spent the entire day with us (a saturday, mind you) going through the Amath TYS book.
<3 much.

I keep dropping things.
My fingers are buttery.
Do you like photos?
But I am so lazy to upload them to blogger.
I like how pictures look.

Don't you ever imagine the germs in your mouth invading/swimming victoriously into a newly opened bottle of mineral water when you first drink from it?

Its all cinematic and I can hear the war cries of victory: A new Land to conquer, a new Home to Multiply in!
And then you replace the cap and drink from it periodically as the amount of mouth bacteria in the water increases exponentially.
Hydration- yeah right more like Infection.

Maybe they should make UV sanitizing water bottles that zap the germs in the water every 5 minutes.

Add a microfilter to that to remove the dead bodies.

How would you feel about introducing your body's own phagocytes (White Blood Cells) to the water instead?
They'll just ingest the bacteria and after all, you can't call your own WBCs gross.

You made them.

I wonder if ants lie in their beds and worry about their anthills being kicked over by some kid.
Ever stopped to wonder about the hundreds of hours of the ant's efforts you are destroying?
Its not like they wanted to build this, they were driven by their instincts. Pure ant sweat and blood.
Perhaps ants have conspiracy theories too.

How insignificant humans are.
I'm so tiny.

2009-09-30T00:08:00.000-07:00

Capo on 3
G C D

Try to listen to me now x3

Your sandals sink in the ground
I see your hearts not where it used to be
I know that you'll be alright
Just listen to me now

(Because)They might never face the truth
You don't have to win this war
The truth is freedom
You can be who you used to be

Are you strong enough
Its not about when but who
You choose to put up front
Do you know who you are

Incomplete, but after writing it I realised it was for Chingmay, a long time ago. If I could go back in time to give this to you I would!

2009-09-21T04:13:00.000-07:00

Hooee its raining!

Glassneedles
The rain, oh how lovely
A respite from the heat
A vengeful comeback from its much relished hiatus
Buildings stand the same, rooted in the ground with chalky, tardy legs

The rain, lovely as it is
Everything is frozen in
We are a city in a block of ice
I see monoliths standing in the distance, spying
Squared glowing eyes, the sky turns purple

How I hate that blinding combination
Of light and darkness
Blue and purple
None of the exhilarating colours of sunset
No, none of the filtered light you learnt about in school
Perhaps I am to be outdone
Perhaps this is to outdo

But they have been there all along
Just the blinding rain that makes it
clear as day,
They were watching you.

2009-09-20T06:16:00.000-07:00

My mother is using an iron that sounds like a jet taking off.
A steam iron that is.

I was speaking to Wee Sian in church today, and we discovered that academia really kills artistic notion.

If you are a doodler, you will notice that as the exams draw near, you stop having ideas for doodles/ doodle less frequently.

Creative expression declines?Perhaps this is due to a person becoming more accustomed to using the left side of a brain more during the examination period to process logical and mathematical problems. They say the brain is like a muscle right?
So the right side of the brain atrophies?
I really have no idea.
And how scientifically sound this opinion is, I have no idea as well.

Did you know bear kind attacked a supermarket in Japan?
They had to put bullets in it.
I thought they would've used tranquilizer darts you know?
Its such a waste of life, the poor thing was probably scared out of its wits.
The attack was definitely not premeditated, come on, its a bear!

I wish animals went to heaven.

2009-09-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

Because you know no controversial event is complete without....Conspiracy Theories!

Why Kanye West did what he did at the VMAs

Aliens

We all know this one, Aliens did it.

Aliens pretending to be Kanye did it

Aliens planted a mind controlling device in him, just because You Belong With Me on the radio waves in space were killing them.

We're all just a dream and none of this really happened.

Perhaps someday a doppelganger Kanye from a parallel universe will wake you up, saying, "Yo I'm really happy for you that you're just living an illusion, Ima let you finish but I had one of the best illusions of all time!"

To Gain Attention from the Media

Maybe he just likes the attention.

He was planted by the producers to up Taylor's profile

You know, because the music industry is that hard up

He had a random moment

Because you know, it has to be the best of all time

"Yo I see you're having an embarrassing moment and I feel for you, and Ima let you finish but I made the the best boo boo on stage of all time!"

This is going to stick to him forever.
Choose your moments wisely, you'll be glad you didn't make a "Kanye"

On the other hand, why not try it at the next social event you're attending?
Or it'll be a totally cool halloween costume to try next October!

2009-09-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

Its blogger's birthday?
Because I had no idea!

And thank goodness, the blogger tool bar is gazing up at me in such a perfect, lovely manner I feel like giggling.

TGIF TGIF TGIF
This week's Friday is the epitome of TGIF
Honestly, this week of preliminary exams has been killer.
I felt like a rat hanging on to a thread of sanity over a sea of sharks made of books.
And also the late nights and double paper days.

Eliada is getting so annoyed with people exclaiming "Wah, you very good ah! No need to come school"
Hahaha its a side effect, note to self: stop doing that as well.

I don't feel like I'm doing well at all.
I'm not going to excel for this time round's SS/Hist, no matter what you tell me.
I took the paper, I know I messed it up okay?

But ah well, its not like I'm annoyed over that, so don't worry if you've very kindheartedly assured me about my humanities grade.

I have too much awesome to live out.
If awesome was a battery bar, it would be like this :
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Okay, so that didn't turn out like the one in my mind's eye.

Lets try black and white instead:

I IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
I've used this
much

Argh I give up.

So much for illustrations.
I want an illustrious career!
I want to be naturally good at my job, so I feel like I'm working hard but enjoying it at the same time because I don't have to work so hard that I feel pain.

You know?

Mmrpgh, I'm in a sorta floppy mood. Way to start a weekend huh.
Well, exams start again next week, thank God its only Biology and Additional Math left.

One more thing. I think pride and exhibitionism is the main thing that makes us unlovely.
Seriously. We get so caught up in showing everybody: Look what I did! Look what I know! Let me show you how you are wrong so I can show you how much more I know! Tell me I'm intelligent and wonderful and lovely!

And then we don't care about the other person because we are just seeking edification.
It all boils down to our need to be recognised doesn't it?
Its so ugly.

I bet we all look like those clubbers in the silent disco- Dancing like hell to show off, but really, no ones watching because they're all trying too hard to get you to look at them too.

2009-09-07T02:47:00.000-07:00

There was once a girl who was allayed
By the computer
For a long long time
No one had to tell her
She knew bad things would come, it was a sign.

"Does this make sense?" She would murmur to herself,
piecing together, finding none that would fit
It could be bad on her health
Somehow she couldn't make the right things meet

But the world!
Oh the outside
Was a far worse place then you'd dare abide
The WORLD- Oh the horrors

But what really scared her
was what she'll find inside
If she let the world
Get
In

This relentless escapism
Someone intervene?
She wouldn't try to ask
She just wouldn't be seen.

What she didn't see
Was the many that held open
Its not that she was blind
She didn't want to try

2009-09-07T02:41:00.000-07:00

Its either I get a laptop or some kind of interface to blog from, or I'm going to write my blogposts on paper and then transfer them here.

I don't like not blogging, its like I can't think properly anymore, what with the excessive math and science and all other left brained thinking styles.

If I alter myself to survive, then who do I become?

Of course you can give me all that crap about students who undergo a HOLISTIC education, and it is possible for students to do well in more than one discipline.

OKAY.
I
GET
IT.

Yeah so, it scares me.

It really really does, okay, so get off my case.

The world is going to judge you anyhow
or it could be that I'm being my own worst critic again now see why would anyone want to read what I'm typing right now?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh goodness now this is becoming an outlet

STOP.

Maybe I'll have more constructive things to say next time, and a less jaded perspective.

I need to start on my MATH.

2009-09-04T00:52:00.000-07:00

After taking the English paper, I realise how much I really like writing. So there.

I was just wondering while washing forks and spoons earlier, if you say "I have done this all by myself"

Would that be full of pride in your self-achievements, or would it carry a tinge of sadness because it was lonely?

Similarly, if you announce, "It was a group effort and we did well!"
Would you ever wonder how much better it could be if you have achieved it all by yourself?

I guess theres never satisfying people.
How do we live on?

Come on, get sucked into the little (but growing!) singularity that you've created in your heart. Maybe that is what it takes to stop this mess eh?

2009-09-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

Okay haven't been blogging
Still don't feel like blogging
But this really calls for a blog entry
wait for it...

MCFLY
WAS
ON
TV

a celebrity short for Singapore Idol
Followed by one of their songs (I was too excited to register which)

Can't believe the day is finally here, they made it onto our television screens!
Soon they'll be coming for a concert, yes?
Next year please, I would die if they came and I couldn't go because of the o'lvls

TIME TO SAVE MONEY!!

2009-08-23T06:21:00.000-07:00

Am I the only person who keeps accidentally clicking "itunes" when I mean to click on "Safari" on my Windows Start Menu?

Bah.

Anyway, the MOE Humanities Scholarship Tea was...alright
Really informative, and its opened my eyes to how tutors really are in JCs.
Really.

Sometimes stuff gets depressing, but the thought of my future in Ngee Ann's DPA program makes me really happy.
:D

I honestly can't wait to receive that huge mail packet.

I am now escaping from History Revision, me and my textbook, we're doing the effects of Stalin's rule on Communist Russia.

What I can't understand is how Hitler established an authoritarian regime but was so fearful of Communism at the same time.

If anyone really cares, please do enlighten me on the differences between Hitler's regime and communism. (I can hear the shocked gasps of "YOU DON'T KNOW?". Yeah okay, get over it already.)

Poor Russian people.
I still remember wishing my friends "Kulak"(sounds like good luck) before the exams last year. Totally nerdy and =.= but ah well. If it helps you remember, it helps you remember.

I'm really not feeling too healthy right now, its like I have some sort of flu but I don't have a temperature, cough or sneezes.
Its terrible cos I'm not officially sick but I feel like it.

Gah.
O'Level English Comprehension Examinations are tomorrow, they MUST go well.
Gonna trust God on this, though I'm not very good at not worrying.

I need to stop being such a worrier, really.
Does anyone have any ways of not worrying?
Please help.

Oh by the way, guilty pleasure alert: I read Madeline L'Engle's A Wind In The Door yesterday.
Its a companion book to A Wrinkle In Time (Oh I love that book so much)
Its good, as expected.

2009-08-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

Wow its been a long time.

Blogger and Facebook have been really problematic recently.

I suspect that they finally put monkeys in-charge of running their sites.

I am not insulting monkeys, although I am insulted that evolutionists actually believe that we evolved from those hairy, man-faced creatures.

And according to 2012 conspiracy-theorists, we were genetically modified to be slaves for the Annunaki.

Now THATS insulting.

God made us as his sons and daughters, we are heirs to his kingdom.

Compare that with post-monkey-slaves-to-alien-race theories.

Seriously.

Ahaha I miss blogging.

Life has been a blur of studying and not studying then feeling guilty and anxious about not studying.

And also the occasional DDR. ^^

Give me the ability to change the size of my font back, I'm tired of not being able to see my tool bar.

Theres got to be some kind of interesting activity to do out there other than whatever we do for recreation right now right?

The young adults I know are all joining these 4.2 km marathons and all

Running is like dying. I've said it before, I'll say it again.

Do you know what I think would be an awesome past time?

Skiing

Horseback riding

Looking at undiscovered sea creatures

Finding supposedly extinct dinosaurs in the forests infront of my flat

Being in Australia right now, surfing or something

Paragliding (I really really want to do this)

Swimming next to the sharks in underwater world. They already do that right? Can't be that dangerous.

Harvesting organically grown vegetables in a nice farm

etc etc.

Also, being really rich and famous would be awesome as well.

Making a pile of money while having fun. And meeting other rockstars.

hardyharhar

Whats it like over at your side?

2009-08-08T11:26:00.001-07:00

I just realised that its 2.30 am.

Got too engrossed on the net.

Hmm.

2009-07-28T05:19:00.000-07:00

~~lies~~
It works!

~~I feel kinda fluent in HTML now. What a lie, but still!~~

2009-07-24T06:32:00.000-07:00

Wow why do I feel as if its all been facts, facts, facts here?

I'm giving up on being sleepy in school. I can't function from after recess onwards.

Being sleepy is tiring.

Paradox isn't it.

I have complexes. Lots of them. Do you have complexes?

How many complexes are too many complexes? (Is that even grammatically correct?)

I guess its until they compromise your ability to function normally in the Social sense.

Well that means that I have enough complexes.

No need for any new ones thankyouverymuch.

I feel like theres a monster rotting in here.

No poetry recently either

This is a rut.

2009-07-24T02:46:00.000-07:00

I received a chain email that actually made sense!

Thanks to Yimei. I just thought I'll share the best parts.

"When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away..
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.."

"Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.."

"Thank you for being a part of my life,

Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime."

It explains a lot doesn't it?

Its not easy to find emails like this, so good for you, Internet.

2009-07-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

It cannot wait.
British slang/swearing makes it all easier.
I like.

Instead of saying: *$%&% to that
I could say: Bollocks to that.

I love Britain.

Sooooo no calls regarding DPA.
Wham.

2009-07-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

Argh sleepy, I can barely string a sentence together.

Did you know the ex-CEO of Ren Ci (yeah that guy)

Bought a BMW, property in Perth and a Horse with donation money?

A HORSE.

Excuse me, don't monks believe that they are to be removed from earthly pleasures?

And he bought a horse.

I want a horse more.

Really.

The main reason I wanted to come on here:

Mom: Keziah, can you please drink up the milk in the fridge?

Replies: Er, no, not really (with decreasing volume, at the computer)

Mom: What?

Replies: No

Mom: What?

Replies: No.

2009-07-18T01:13:00.000-07:00

Oh dear I think they might not call me at all.

2009-07-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

I need advice: do you include certificates in a portfolio?
I know its not done traditionally, but in this case should I get a separate folder for the certs?

This is time consuming.

Mmmrtrjhvdfskhfd parents.

2009-07-16T03:53:00.000-07:00

Just been cutting out posts from my blog to show the peeps at NP admissions.
All the analysis of what should make it into the portfolio is making me kind of sick of my blog writing.
It seems so boring and repetitive and over thinky and who really wants to read about my life like that in these kind of dreary words.

Maybe, just maybe, I'm getting a little OCD about compiling my portfolio. I spend all my time thinking about it, working on it, stressing about it.
But I'm working to create a really compre

oh look I'm rambling again. This should be filed under: stressed speeches and internet self condolence.

What would you like to see here?
Tell me because I'm at my wits end.
Tell me, go on. Over there on the right. >>>>>>>

2009-07-16T02:28:00.000-07:00

Merriam-Webster online dictionary:

Conundrum
Main Entry:: co·nun·drum
Pronunciation:: \kə-ˈnən-drəm\
Function:: noun
Etymology:: origin unknown
Date:: 1645

1: a riddle whose answer is or involves a pun
2 a: a question or problem having only a conjectural answer
b: an intricate and difficult problem

I love TBBT, it teaches me new and useful words.

Conundrum just makes communicating your ideas so much more easily doesn't it?
Now I don't have to grope around for "that word" when I try to describe something anymore!
I feel like I'm over exaggerating a little, but you get my point.

2009-07-15T01:24:00.000-07:00

Oh I completely forgot, I saw Transformers 2 yesterday, because our Preliminary Exams ended!
And I just clean forgot what I wanted to say about that.

Sibyl has a lovely singing voice, I'm jealous.
And so does Eliada, when she decided to use her diaphragm.
Why can everyone sing so well!
I'm so envious.
Hee hee.
But Chingmay likes the song I wrote for Eliada (For Ally).
I'm glad you told me, it meant alot! :D

And then we wrote a hilarious song about armpit hair, with the words "mealworms" bookmarking the end of every sentence.
If I can get a hold of of the lyrics maybe I'll post them up here.

Muchos gracias.
That phrase just popped into my head. Random phrases are for twitter, whilst random+ other thoughts are filed here.
So that should've gone on twitter.
I love twitter. It should be a new form of journalism and news providing. I mean, CNN already has twitter, but still, more could be done. And the fact that its so informal gives journalism a twist, you know,
News, but witty.
Also its so quick and easy to post, it takes full advantage of the instant gratification that the internet brings.

News, quick, witty, bold, now.

See my point?
Yes.

And also, after roll-blogging (as in "i'm on a roll!" kind of blogging)
I realised that I don't sound optimistic at all.
More pessimistic and sad and low self-esteem than I am.
I have a sticker label that says "Positivity" on my wallet, it looks amazing and exudes some kind of awesome air.

So I can't be that pessimistic when I've got that sticker around me can I?
I really am an optimistic person, optimistic to a fault.
I'm just preparing myself for the worst yes?

Self-preservation, so I don't fall too hard.

Yes that is the realist in me that is speaking.
Hahaha I am like a layer cake.So what if my candles and flames are ugly.
Why brown candles you ask?
Hahaha. Whats good for fuel?
Urgh, dirt humour, lets spare us the awkward after-bad-joke moment and change the subject.
Sorry I think I just need someone to talk to.

But I am proud of my little illustration up there. ^
What a lovely parallel eh?

I dunno why they like to put prunes in Kueh Lapis
Totally spoils the taste, in my opinion.
And yes, I am so totally particular and OCD about my food.

I REMEMBER THE THING ABOUT TRANSFORMERS!

Throughout the entire movie, I was staring at (no not Megan Fox) the car that was Bumblebee.

That Chevrolet Camaro is so beautiful.
I kept whispering to myself- that car is mine
whenever it appeared on screen

Can't take it, gotta have it. (Good news is that Chevrolets gonna launch the exact same car with the yellow and racing stripes in 2010)
I might have to migrate to own that car.

I'll be old enough to get my driving liscence next year, who wants to come with me!

2009-07-15T01:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, I googled: ngee ann poly mass comm DPA

And I found what I was looking for, not sure if I found what I wanted to find.

Blogs, about girls applying through DPA for the Mass Communications Course in Ngee Ann.
About how badly they want it
and how "ohso competitive" it is.

I'm getting depressed. I don't want to judge, and I don't want to feel intimidated, so the only way to go is to close the search page and pretend I've never seen them.

One, bless her soul, has magnificent backing from our local newspaper.
The other blogs in another manner altogether.
I dunno how my portfolios gonna match up, but I sure hope they put me through an interview in the very least.

The best advice I've been given is to just go for it and trust God.
I guess thats all I can do now, besides refine my portfolio that I hope I have a chance to show!
If its in his plan, then I'm headed exactly where I'm headed. If not then I might have to go to a JC.
I dunno.

Staying positive, trying to.
This is my dream, man.

2009-07-15T00:50:00.000-07:00

I sense that maybe, just maybe Mcfly are going to come to Singapore someday.
Its become a little more than just a dream. Oh gosh I'm so excited I can barely stay in my seat.

Heres why I think so:
They were featured in Singapore's newspaper today, a short article about their success as a band, and also to promote the launch of their deluxe Radio:Active album here.
Tom mentioned that they currently have no plans for a concert here, but they hope to come here one day.

Mcfly's "Everybody Knows" was used in the commercial for Singapore Idol. I was falling asleep on the bus when I thought I heard the opening riff for that song and I woke up.
Its been confirmed: IT IS!

Hoobaby.
I'm excited. I wonder if I'll ever get a chance to see them, for all the fan that I am.
Haha.
How futuristically disappointing.
I'm afraid

2009-07-13T03:53:00.001-07:00

Oh I just remembered that I'm supposed to be a little sick.
My mom just asked me if I'm feeling better.

The panadol must've been playing loopy with me.

Yeah so that explains the blue mood.

Now I recognise that, I can distance myself from it.
I feel better already.
Zebras/Dinosaurs/Giraffes/Horses rule much.

2009-07-13T03:42:00.000-07:00

Make me dream in colour.
I smell vinegar, mom is putting that stuff all over the kitchen walls.
Swabbing or something, yeah thats the verb I was trying to recall.

Just read 3/4 of another Jodi Picoult book.
Depressing I tell you.
I don't know why I do this to myself, but shes an amazing writer.
I guess thats why.
Now I'm feeling all brain-hazy from reading too long too much at once, and part of me is still lost in the book.
Doesn't help that its not a very happy book.

It reminds me of the other times when I was reading other Jodi Picoults.
Last last christmas.
Last year
Different snippets of the story linked to memories of popular bookstore, on a beanbag in my room under the yellow light
The sound of a felt tipped marker scratching against paper.
Memories of being lonely and not knowing what this feels like.

Durh, terrible time to be blogging from this mood the book has gotten me into.
Help I should stop no, yes?

We're all terrible people inside, theres no such thing as someone whos never hurt a fly or thought a bad thought.
I hate evenings.
The blue light really hurts my eyes.

2009-07-07T07:13:00.001-07:00

New mail in my Spam folder.
The most recent one I've received:

The most scandalous politics-scandal

from Rogelio Yweb
Ooh how exciting.
It just screams at you dosen't it?

I am intrigued.
But not enough to open that mail.

In your face Rogelio Yweb.
Whoever you are.

2009-07-05T04:57:00.000-07:00

Met with the girls today, old times.
I feel like I've changed so much, grown, shrunk, progressed, recessed.
My friends back then and my friends now are so different...I can't say which is better but they're just so
different.

Melissa warned me about really mean people, because apparently they have a reputation already.
It got me a little scared.

How? I'm not going to not go there just because of that, but blah blah blah
I feel like everything is pre-written already.
You probably get what I'm saying already, so why type it out right?
Unless I was going to type something totally unexpected, or something completely random. Which I was not going too.

Theres no space for honesty and vulnerability on the internet. Who cares if you bare your soul anyway?

It'll just seem like you want attention, someone to lick your sorry little wounds.
Oh, look, I'm broken, and then people rush in asking omg! what happened! Don't be sad what does that give you in the end? The assurance that you have so many people who love and care for you?
They're just saying that because they know you're asking for it.
Why am I sounding angry I am not.

Recently I've gotten into this habit of not punctuating it is addictive because it seems to bring across the feeling of not stopping and hence the mood that I want to put across.

It also helps to illustrate a fast-speaking, talkative (self-absorbed?) character in dialogues.
For example:

"What is the matter how are you feeling will they be here in time do I look okay to you" and then she ran off in the other direction, seeming to obtain all her answers from her observations of my surroundings. Why she needed to speak and ask those questions I could not fathom.

Why, a human being like that- so advanced in observation and quickness of thought did not need to embrace, or exercise for that matter, any form of communication with other people except to instruct and expect complete compliance while efficiently getting every other undone task done.

"I'm okay, thanks for asking." I said to the air that was previously where she had crouched for that moment. Getting to my feet and dusting off my pants, I wondered why my head hurt so badly.

I got carried away. But the first part illustrated my point, I guess.
I think that I'm typing so much because I'm desperately looking for a diversion from studying. I don't want to start hence I occupy myself with this, and create a false sense of productivity at the same time.

Its kind of pathetic isn't it, being aware of your own escapist tendencies and actions but not mustering enough will power to overcome it.

I hate it.

But maybe we're not supposed to be so self-aware, so I mightn't have to be in this anguish.
I feel like its a paradox. Something contradictory but unfortunately for me, makes perfect sense.

What do I do?
Somebody help. (But you really don't have to)

P.S I just discovered an entire list of the tags that I have ever used on this blog. Intriguing. Its like shaking hands with my past self:

All Labels: 'Diccted A scoop of Supreme Depressimo please Ache amusing day. And after all Bah. Blargh. But in a good way. Causes for happiness. Charlieeeeeeeee Chevrolet Camaro Continuum Crazy man's Juju Creationism Distilling the essence. Do ya? Do you see me? Dramatis Personae For Ally. Gargh Gee God made the dinosaurs Heh. How apt. I heart mom I was joking. But not really. I wish Sian was an english word. That way I could explain it all better. I wonder what its like to be whole? I wouldn't want to make you an X If you can't beat em In the sun Is Stupid. ISH It'll be cool Its bittersweet Its getting worse. Its not like I have a problem or anything. join em. Junk humour Look Look infront of you/ AAAH Look this way Maybe that'll pass as a song. maybe yes? Mmmm Necessary realities no Not a cause for concern Oh look I found it Oh Mon Dieu Oh yeah. Ohhhmanthisissomuchfun on a blogging roll. On a roll On love/In sadness ooooooooommmmmmmmggggg Ow my head. Pain and Smiles Pissy. Poetic Licence Poked to death. By accident. Roofus. Running away from waves. Sick sigh. wut. TAGGERS Technology-smecnology Thanksgiving The internet This is a heart-rending period that some people go through. To duh maax Tweet. We're (not)on the same level Where is my blinking-typing-line? Where is my second home now? Whoohoo why does this happen to me? Yaaaaaaay you're my wonderwall.

2009-07-04T02:44:00.000-07:00

I can't study whywhywhy
Besides that

My spam folder in my email is flooded with spam.
(Haha.)
No really.

These people have such exotic sounding names, and such strange, mindbending email subject titles.
I'm intrigued and annoyed at the same time.
Remember the one email that had the title: "Open or you're gay" ?
I actually liked that one.

Now its all people with names like: Comnick Ambrose, Marianela Tyniroa, Cinthia Pqtjl, Ute Papallo, Adolfo Jxiesus, Madaffari Nedra, Mona Umomab, Yetta etc. etc.

I dunno, will using a very exotic sounding name make me want to open your email?
I think not.
The email titles are hillarious:

Your consultant bothers

Marvellous! **** of Beyonce

Information prohibited by government

Interested in your skills

Perm Vacancy

And the one that takes the prize:

Can't write from my mail

Ahahaha. The internet is so very entertaining.

2009-07-02T04:34:00.000-07:00

I didn't write my summary on a separate piece of paper.
I hope they don't deduct away too many marks. Just one at most okay?

Argh.
The microphone is too soft too soft too soft.

And Ms Nooriani was collecting the history papers for my class.

She stopped at my table to rearrange the stack of papers (because you know they get all out of alignment when you keep adding pieces to the stack down the row).

She said something really really softly, then she repeated it a few times.

I was wondering why she was talking to herself.
Counting the number of scripts maybe.

Then she looks at me and says: Keziah. Help me to rearrange the papers.
Then I realise what she was saying all along.

My ears- are they spoilt?

But by then she'd finished with her stack, and did the stack that I was supposed to help with.
Then she carried on down the row.

Later on Jasmine told me Ms N asked me quite a number of times.
Oh dear.
She must think I'm terribly thick. Or deaf.

Oh and a new song!
This one took like what, 10 mins?
Its for a dear friend who is pining for a dearelsebody already.

For Ally
Standard Tuning
Chords: G, D

Of course you've heard of summer flings
And other things
For that matter

Thing about summer is that
We don't have it over here
But rain

Rain here and rain there
The same sky isn't it?
And maybe if you're looking out on a rainy day
You'll think of here

Cos you're a long long way
Away from me
It doesn't matter what I feel
But maybe someday
You'll remember
That you've belonged here

Its not a full song, but I thought leaving it incomplete like that makes it all the more poignant and vulnerable don't you think?

Okay maybe I was just lazy, but its pretty on its own.

2009-07-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

There is this advertisement on facebook offering Salsa lessons.
It looks like the couple are fighting instead. If you've seen it, you'd know what I mean.
I wanted to post a picture of it, but I dunno why I can't.

I enjoyed the exams today.
I fear Bio because I haven't even started yet.
I am hungry.
Off to dinner.

Oh BTW, I'm playing stories on twitter, join in if you'd like.
So far:

subtleinsanity: She didn't know it was going to be so real. She had always heard about it, thought about it, but now that she was finally here..

yongliangFOUR:she stood in the lobby of Big Machine Records, Nashville, Tennessee. She had been around music row, stopping by every label to drop off her demo CD.

subtleinsanity: But, the thing was, although she fitted the description of Taylor Swift to the bill, she wasn't. She wasn't even human.

JOIN ITS FUN.

2009-06-29T04:11:00.000-07:00

I have zebra clips.
Of the paper variety.
I just had to get them, like 5 for a dollar?
And they had stripes
Uh huh, stripes.

Iced coke is all the rage.
I was discussing with somebody- I can't remember who exactly, about the possibility that Coca-cola could be the greatest soda ever.

2 points into the discussion, I realised that no other soda ever can, nor ever will match the mighty iced coke.
Seriously.

The fizziness with the coca cola flavour is a perfect match.
Sprite? A bit blah
Mountain Dew? Doesn't stand a chance.
Root beer? Too fragrant.

Nothing beats the nice coke-y kick that coke gives.
And I seem to be hopelessly addicted to it.

Ever since the Lady Gaga concert where Nisa and I gulped down two Large cokes at Burger King.

Or maybe the addiction started much much earlier.
I have no way of knowing.

What do they put in there? Opium?

Dominic says its the caffeine that makes it addictive.
Which makes a whole lot more sense.

Should I attempt to stop drinking coca-cola?

My blinking typing line has disappeared. I have no idea how to get it back. I think I pressed something earlier when I was putting "stripes" in italics.
Now I don't know where I am typing at.
How confusing.
I should get back to mugging.
This is the first time I've actually started my revision this early, like 2 weeks before the first exam.
So its not a mad rush like it usually is, but then I suspect that I've started too late again, and am not going to be able to finish my revision.

Tomorrow is my last available late night mugging session, because the exams start on Wednesday, and dear noggin' needs enough sleep to function properly.

Did I just say noggin'?
Oh dear, I might be losing my mind.

2009-06-21T06:11:00.004-07:00

I heard that strawberries aren't really berries.
So what are they?

And that Dragonflies aren't flies because they have 4 wings instead of 2.

And why is Johore spelled with and "e"?
Isn't it Johor?
Oh yeah that doesn't look right.

Crime watch is on full blast over here.
Why do we sound so terrible when we speak?

She pronounces "pistol" as "pis-ter"
Goodness.

Did anyone see the video of people ordering a Macdonald's meal by singing it to "I'm Yours"?
I don't understand how I'm Yours never gets old. I've heard it and sung it a million times and I'm still not sick of it.

JMRAZ is genius.

2009-06-18T06:22:00.000-07:00

I haven't been on the computer for 3 days, only at night.
Great improvement for me!
But its largely due to the fact that the house I'm at has no access to the internet, so.

When I get bored or sick of studying, I go up to the roof or out to the garden to look at the pond.

Then I have the sky to keep me company at night, stars optional depending on the cloud cover.

Its healthier I guess. But I miss you, internet.

I do.

BTW, I wrote a song about you.
The first line goes:

The Internet, I can't stop, thinking of you.

See, I still care.
Just undergoing some rehabilitation, yeah.

2009-06-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

My entire family is playing DDR.
I never knew this day would come.

But I'm loving it.

2009-06-13T06:08:00.000-07:00

Shopping with Andrea, Eliada, Chingmay and Liwei at Haji lane today.
The shops were so nicely decorated, like vintage and artsy and all.
But one question: before vintage clothing was in, how did all these shops survive?

I guess I don't dig vintage wear much.
And Andrea approves, ha ha.
Ha.
Hrm.

2009-06-09T07:21:00.000-07:00

I need motivation to study.
And get things done, generally. Besides living on the internet. (I'm still not admitting it.)

Darnnit its 10.23 pm.

I have to be in school at 0710 tomorrow, not complaining cos I'm seeing the best chinese teacher in the world to practise my spoken Mandarin.
Uh huh its totally Ms Tan Chye I.

I feel guilty about not wearing my teeth retainers.
Like I manage to keep them on the whole day till meal time and they come off and my teeth are like totally whoo hoo
So I don't put them on again
My guilty conscience nags and nags at me to put them on but I try not to listen
And I think its causing me anxiety because I'm subconsciously counting the number of hours I've gone without them already.

Its like procrastinating on homework but worse because your mouth tells you its too empty to be true.

Timecheck 10.29
I don't want to leave
Now
This could be a song
Too
If I had more time
Here

Just looking for excuses to stay online.
This is really bad.

Somebody save me. Preferably not an intervention, because I still need the internet.
For stuff.

Yeaaaah so. Maybe I'll manage to hit the close button soon.
Pray for me!

2009-06-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

Hee Eliada is here for an impromptu sleepover.
Haha.

Fun. Except we can't stay up late or do extreme things cos theres still school tomorrow.

I wish you were here. : /
Its terrible, it is.

2009-06-05T07:21:00.000-07:00

Oh look the fibre thing is happening again.
Its strange, since I first saw that expression in the Princess Diaries series.
I was in primary school.
Haha.

TBBT makes me want to go around speaking in long, cheem sounding sentences just to annoy others.

Jun Jie and me were trying to come up with phrases that threadless.com could use.
Its so awesome.
Fun!

I love the weekends, so many opportunities to do stuff.
^^

I feel crazy.
Oh dear.

*grins crazily and dances off*

2009-06-01T05:44:00.000-07:00

YOUTUBE IS DOWN.
tsk.
I was in the middle of a TBBT episode. (The Big Bang Theory)
Wee Sian said it was awesome and "you have to watch it" and its TRUE

SO GLORIOUSLY TRUE.

I don't realise I'm actually laughing till I hear myself over the headphones.
Its amazing. So geeky, so scientific, so clever and so socially inept.
And also, so entertaining.

Its gold, seriously. And on Youtube.
But its not working.

GLUGMPRPH.
it was not random keyboard spazzing, it was a calculated spelling based on the phonetic, theoretical idea of what it would sound like to you if you decided to pronounce it in your head.

See now I'm speaking like them.

2009-05-28T03:12:00.001-07:00

There are bio and chinese bits flying about in my head.
I'm sleepy.
I have my daily minimum of 10 pgs of Mockingbird notes to copy.
I need to study for Chinese but theres BIO SPA tomorrow.
-Whining ends here-

I wonder how many people delete their typing to get to the spot where they've mistyped?
Or do most people use the arrow keys or mouse to remedy the error?

I wonder if that can be made into some kind of personality test.
You know, the kind that are so abundantly available on facebook.
So fake, but we take them anyway because we like what they tell us.

I decided to cure my obsession with living on the internet with itself!
I'm studying on the internet.
So in my tabs bar, I have:
Homeostasis-Wiki,
BBC GCSE bitesize-Homeostasis,
[Regents Prep Living Environment] Homeostasis-Introduction,
Blogger: Create post,
Restaurant City on Facebook.

Babysteps, people.

And also, I am typing my notes as I read in Microsoft Word.
How efficient is that?

2009-05-26T02:56:00.000-07:00

I want ice cream.
Like Swensens or B&J's
Gargh.

2009-05-24T07:07:00.000-07:00

BLACKMAIL IS NOT FUNNY.

There is too much caffeine in my system, shouldn't have taken that frapp this afternoon.

My hands are shaking,
I think even my soul is quivering.

Remind me never to take coffee again.
Unless its decaf.

FRIGGIN' DECAF YOU HEAR ME?

^^

2009-05-21T07:26:00.000-07:00

I want that shirt so bad.
For the first time, Cake>Pie.
Because of this shirt.

2009-05-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

Star Trek

startrekstartrekstartrekstartrek

I've finally seen it!
I liked it, and Zachary Quinto is a really good actor.
I didn't know Chris Pine could do sci-fi, my impression of him was tainted by his co-acting with Lindsay Lohan in Just My Luck.
Seriously, the only redeeming factor in that show was McFLY, and the nice clothes.

I don't like meddling people. Its like some kind of- ooh my ipod is really shiny.
Gah.
I hate how I have to censor what I write because of the people that might see this.
So like, rrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Now McFLY's Falling in Love is stuck in my head, no thanks to you.
Not that its an altogether bad thing, but its not leaving me alone.

Lying has been around recently!
Lying is bad, isn't it.
Yes it is.

2009-05-16T01:01:00.000-07:00

Sun is in the sky, oh why oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?

I'm so addicted to Lily Allen's LDN
Which stands for London, by the way.
Its so, brit and airplane country code names-ish.

Code names. Spies.

I was watching Rush Hour 3 on my ipod just awhile ago, to wear out the battery, and there was this scene where they needed the taxi driver to whisk them away from their evil pursuers:

"Okay, listen George, you watch American movies?"
"Uh huh,"
"So right now, you're a super spy, you hear me? A super spy."
"I'm a super spy."
*Crack driving ensues.*

Don't ask me why, just had an urge to enter content on the internet.
You know the joke about what goes up but never comes down?
Its the same for the internet: whats uploaded never completely disappears- no matter how hard you try to remove it.
Its almost the same joke, except its not funny.
So watch what you upload, y'all.
Because you might regret it.
(Eliada has this Secrets to successful Blogging tips: use the words "you" and "because" more.)

I'm loving it already.

2009-05-14T05:49:00.000-07:00

I think I need someone to threaten me in order to do well for tests.

Seriously, I think accountability to self doesn't work too well for me, so,
THREATEN ME.

It kind of works : x
See, I've already passed my amath, and I studied for the chem test!
I hope I'm dangerously close to that A1, but I dunno.

OK, reality check.
I'm nowhere near that A1.

ITS NOT AMUSING ITS NOT AMUSING ITS NOT AMUSING

Tear me away from the computer, somebody?

2009-05-11T06:59:00.000-07:00

Today was: retail therapy day.
Self-actualization day
Sorting out things with myself day
Caesar salad day
Slightly Amath day
Realisation day
Speak loudly into the phone day
Missed my chance day
Meet Phyllis day

Yes, it has been a good day.

Phyllis and I met Oswell and his friends at Macdonalds. They don't look J2 Xp
But ah well, life used to be so different.

I love shopping alone, its so liberating.
SPEAKING OF WHICH
I BOUGHT A PLAID SCARF and also a plaid print umbrella. I hope it rains tomorrow so I can use it.
it is so British
I love it.

Joy.

2009-05-08T05:58:00.000-07:00

From Ritz To The Rubble- Arctic Monkeys

I said a thousand million things that I could never say this morning

Got too deep, but how deep is too deep?

This town's a different town today
This town's a different town to what it was last night
You couldn't have done that on a Sunday

Last night what we talked about
It made so much sense
But now the haze has ascended
It don't make no sense anymore

I love how the internet brings about instant gratification- Facebook, MSN, Twitter. All these live updates are love.

-Whatever they say I am, that's what I'm not

2009-05-06T03:38:00.000-07:00

I forgot, you can access my twitter page here

And also, I must quote Jason Mraz:

"And now it’s done. I’ve written and posted something. Spoken like a true procrastinator who’s always proud to have made a minimum effort at the last possible second. But then again, the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."

Hark.

2009-05-06T03:24:00.000-07:00

I jumped the Twitter bandwagon.

I believe the only people who will follow it are strange stalkers who want to know your every move and thought.

Like,

I just took a deep breath.
updated 5 mins ago, from web

I just exhaled.
updated 4mins ago, from web

Yet another breath.
updated 3 mins ago, from web

I blinked.
updated 2 mins ago, from web

You get the picture.

And I see that Nisa is there too!
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

2009-05-05T06:39:00.000-07:00

I changed I changed I changed guitar strings!

Without any instructions!
Or internet instructions!

And the new strings sound good.
Slightly brassier, but louder and richer <3

TURMOIL.
I'M REALLY BAD AT LIFE.

2009-05-02T07:57:00.000-07:00

What the hell.

It'll never be the same again.

I have no idea if its a good or bad thing.

2009-04-30T04:26:00.000-07:00

I'm getting new guitar strings!

Its the closest to actually getting a new guitar cos after that it'll sound much better!
I can't wait.

and I can so live on without everything I thought was so dear.

2009-04-29T06:19:00.000-07:00

I AM THE BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND I AM

NOT
EXAGGERATING.

I don't believe myself.

2009-04-27T07:59:00.000-07:00

2 hour tuition just over
Hilarious facebook messenger conversation with Kevin
Resulted in encouragement to express insanity in poem form
Here is it:

Not so literally, but sincerely
by me

In rapid succession
A flurry
Of furry
Random
Matrix
Animals

It is pretty

I may be losing my mind
Momentarily
But mad people don't usually know
Their mental state
I must be a rare sort

Bursts of light and snippets of music
Too much stimulus
Neurons firing everywhere
Take cover

Under a safe mental image
Something amazingly
Warming to the eye
The fumbling of manners
Etiquette
Because I don't know what to do

I should not have tried
Immersed and soaked in it
Knowing the consequences
My mind grows slightly
clearer

Don't waggle your eyebrows
At me
I must apologise
Paranoia is not usually
An issue

Everything seems funny
I am not laughing
At your person
Just the universe
At large

I do believe
This is partly
Not the fault of my
Education
Irony
Since educated people
Behave

But socially
A personality
So taken in
The line between
Self and evolving
Selves
Blurs due to something
You produce

We make hippie jokes
But I believe
In the auras
Magnetism never seemed
So real

I feel better
Are those sour candies
Falling softly
And melting in the sky?

I might need to get my
Head
Checked.
Tick.

Mum just exclaimed that there are two suspected cases of flyne swoo in Singapore, our fair land.

Did I say Flyne Swoo?

I think I meant Swine Flu.

2009-04-25T06:07:00.000-07:00

Today me mom said: "Wouldn't it be silly to bring an ice-cream cake to the desert?"

It was so random.I want it so bad its painful.
Love hurts.

2009-04-24T04:08:00.000-07:00

Things are going well.

2009-04-22T05:17:00.000-07:00

Bright eyes
It could be a line
To a rhyme

I've seen it
on
packaging for dog
food

Bright eyes
If you're happy
The soul shines
Through

Just then I realised
I don't know what my
eyes
look like

Probably anything but it.

2009-04-20T05:26:00.000-07:00

I think that was all monday blues.
Weird stuff.

Anyhoo, I've been to school today and realised that its not that bad.
I have this Chinese essay to write, about parents reading their kid's blogs.
My parents are afraid to use the computer, because its so complicated and all.
What I don't understand is why the kids are complaining about this invasion of their privacy when they post everything on the internet for other people to read?

I mean, ok, so you don't have a paper and pencil, and want to use the computer and stuff.
Well, use notepad, or Microsoft Word and save it on your desktop with a password!

I think we all know that we blog partly because we are secretly exhibitionists.
Why else put your whole life on display for the world?
Theres nothing wrong with it.

Tanya was being all cold today. It scared me. Everyone was dying from the heat, and shes like, help, I'm freaking cold! <---I've prolly misquoted her, but to some extent thats what she said. We had a fantastic time in the library being productive yet unproductive because so little could be done in 45 minutes. I caught a glimpse of some lian's life on the internet, and am glad to be in a school where people like that don't occur in large numbers. But I shan't judge. Rui Han shared an intriguing but depressing thought today. Again, I'm probably going to misquote him, so I shall put it in my own words. To us, light is the fastest travelling thing in the world, yes? But if you notice, light is always rushing from one place to another at impossible speeds, only to discover that darkness was there first. Depressing when God isn't in it. Ok, darkness got there first, but the light is here to make everything better! My mom just found an article about economics on Maisie's poo paper (as in unused) She says I should read it. And Eliada discovered something while she was completing her social studies workbook. Its a sign, I tell you!

2009-04-19T04:25:00.000-07:00

ARGH.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
X//

NRG
HURGH
BLARG
MEEEEEEEEEP.
BAH.

I needed to let it all out.

2009-04-19T04:07:00.000-07:00

I feel all apprehensive and stuff.
I may be secretly going insane but not know it.

Mark Haddon's A Spot of Bother started off really entertaining but its getting slightly disturbing.

I need to get motivated to be all effective and efficient.
To study as well. Its painful to sit down and do work, but theres nothing meaningful to do except study, which I really don't want to do.
So I end up wasting time looking for things to do, and not finding it.

HELP.

Life is losing its layer of shimmer.

It is, and I can't write a poem about it now.

Entertainment is becoming too routine, so it seems to me like I'm just taking in content to occupy myself and hopefully find something at least vaguely amusing or meaningful.

Since when did I get so jaded?
I don't like my life now, and I can't seem to find the will to get myself out of it.
Its not like I'm emo, far from it.
But I'm this close to flailing.
No one should ever reach the flailing stage. Seriously.

I just realised that I have nothing to look forward to.
Perhaps thats why I 'm feeling like this.

How?

2009-04-13T01:17:00.000-07:00

Its dark, cold, but warm under the covers.
The house is silent, save for the soft whirring sounds of the fan.
In my semi-conscious state, I see a crack of light as my room door is opened, and a voice says: "Don't go to school today, you need to rest."
I stir and turn to hide my eyes from the light.
That suggestion sounded amazingly good. If it wasn't an option before, well, now it was.
Inside my head, something screams: "You're not sick enough! Go to school! You have lessons, test corrections and CCA stuff to see to!"

The voice again: "Stay home and rest today, how do you feel?"
Just then I realise its not my inner slacker talking to me. Its my mom.

"Terrible." I mumble, stretching and locating my sore throat and slight fever and blocked nose.
Its there.
So I go back to sleep after watching the sky outside my window brighten in degrees.
When I awake, I sit bolt upright.

"Crap! I feel awesome."

I have every symptom he mentions.
"Sore throat?" Check.
"Blocked nose?" Check.
"Fever?" Check.
"Sneezes?" Check.
The doctor gives me a 2 day MC.

I stare at him in wonderment.

2009-04-11T07:02:00.000-07:00

Oh lookee.
The songs keep coming.
I've got 1 and a half in just one sitting.
I wonder if the flu bug is the one who's whispering
Making all these melodies come this much easily

I feel terrible.
My stomach, it feels hungry and nauseous at the same time.
So I want to eat, but don't want to at the same time.
How can a paradox like this exist?

And I can't sit down to do any work either, since my stomach is so distracting, and then I get really annoyed because I can't focus on a thing I'm doing.
I am so annoyed.

I'm hungry.

2009-04-10T01:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, so having two different emotions smashing around in my head dosen't feel good.

In fact, its
terrible.

I've just read Must Love Dogs (yes, it was a novel first, before it got turned into a movie)
I feel encouraged to answer personal ads.
Haha.
Of course not.

So now I have 3 movies I want to see:

Watchmen
Must Love Dogs
An Inconvenient Truth

I think I need a sidesplitting comedy to rinse my aura.
Haha.
Now I sound like a hippy.

Its ok, I'll stay murky afterall.

2009-04-08T07:08:00.001-07:00

I love Great Britain.

Thats enough for me.

2009-04-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

Cheryl and I went to see David Archuleta today at Bugis.

Man, can he sing.
I wish I could sing like him.
His stage presence was awesome.
And we met Winona along the way!

And I'm tired.
I think I missed out on the entire chapter of Mitosis in Bio today because I kept falling asleep.
I was trying to keep awake, but its always:
-MyeyesareclosingclosingclosingbutIwillnotsleep-

Then the next thing I know, I'm waking up.

> : [

Sabrina said she didn't even see my eyes close.

And and and.

I think you're awesome.

2009-04-04T18:52:00.000-07:00

I just can't get enough of this:

2009-04-03T04:46:00.000-07:00

Finally, a new song!
I've had that writing feeling for a few days now, but I haven't been able to conjure a decent tune.

Well I did it today!

It, like the rest, has no title. Yet. Maybe, maybe not.

Standard Tuning,
Chords: D- Am- C- G

My hearts in a jumble
And the lyrics are all mumbled
Don't know the answers
You say

I know how your heart beats
But I wish I knew who for
How to make you look
This way

I love your manners
The way you look at me
Your mind blows me away

Its your fault I'm this way

C G D
Suddenly the world is beautiful
I think
You have something to do with it
Suddenly I've figured it all out again
Because,
I think I've found you...

I wanna run to the corner,
Put your soul in a locket
You make
Me
Sing.

2009-04-02T03:38:00.000-07:00

Today was the Bio test,
Which I totally last-minuted.
So I didn't finish studying for it, just about 60% of the content?
I was actually kinda sorta hyperventilating from morning till bio.
Thinking back, I think Bio wasn't the only thing that caused that.

And, I don't think you'll be seeing this, but our deal is ON.
Lunch is on you if I fail! :D

I am amused,
and also slightly sad for Oasis.
They are coming!

I heard about them from McFLY at first, and grew to love their brit-whine-rock after listening to:

Wonderwall
Champagne Supernova
Stand By Me

Now they're finally coming, and I go to sistic to look for tickets, and

the cheapest ($48) tickets are sold out.
But the $128, $79 ones are not.

Wee Sian says its the recession,
I dunno.
Its rather sad innit?

I would totally go if there were $48 tickets.

2009-03-31T06:32:00.000-07:00

Haha Chingmay totally told me shocking, but hopeful fallacies today.

If they were true. X /

It was cathartic to tell her it was backwards.
Haha.

I really want to see the Watchmen.

A Haiku

No I cannot.
Today is not a poem day.

This is silly. Pointless blogging occurs when you only have one topic you wish to expound upon, and people are tired of reading about it already.

2009-03-30T05:34:00.000-07:00

I am tired.
This is my first headache of the year.
I think.

I have 19 biology essay questions to complete.
How?
I can't even bring myself to pick up the pen.

The Point of Not Caring

If you take a stroll
Past the point of not caring
You realise that along the way
You see figurines
Twisted, oddly shaped
Colourful, but clouded fuzzy images
Beautiful ugly relics of
The happiness they were disguised as
Behind colourless transparencies
Of crystal mud

If you take a walk
Beyond the point of not caring
You realise that you have finally done it
Only to be nearly pulled in by the shiny dark arms
Of idealism and hope
Because back then
Still now
A friendly gem remains
That reflects your
Wishes, hopes
And dreams

If you try and run
Past the point of not caring
Knowingly you kill something inside
That it never becomes
The same
Again
You assure yourself its
Nothing bad
Just another polished
Beautiful weight on
The person that you are
And will be

What does it take
The pass the point of not caring?
Another solution
That roots from the cause?
Another shiny promise
That so far and few in between
Drops from the sky?
If it has all been
False and
Killjoy
Then what is and when is?

As I shuffle towards the deepening,
The point melds
Into the line that says
It never really mattered.

I see F4 or Energy or some taiwan band on tv now.
I don't seem to be able to see/ hear their quality.

I have a headache and a pile of homework.

2009-03-29T05:28:00.000-07:00

Everybody Knows
-McFLY

Phyllis is right. I am fortunate.
Its all coming in stages, and I think God meant for it to be this way.
Its a learning journey where you learn.
It does make sense.

And for Earth Hour,
We had Dinner on the roof!
There were sooo many stars, and the zinc was cold and noisy but it was wonderful.
Then my sister and me lay down and we started singing star songs, as well as a rainbow song.
Then we hopped back in through the window and went to bed.

I like the roof.

2009-03-26T04:14:00.000-07:00

Eliada had the stangest dream.
It is the weirdest, oddest, strangest dream.

Eliada, its not that funny.
You're mad.
: D

During Amath today, we were talking about TV shows.
I said House was good.
People said Heroes was good.
They said Prison Break was good (I said no, no, no)
Then Rui Han was like, "You should watch Survivor, its not a drama, but reality TV."
I was like, "I know."
Then everybody started laughing.
It was hilarious.

2009-03-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

LOVELY.

2009-03-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

Erm, well now I'm kinda not so happy anymore : [

Its like looking at a glamour (reference to city of ashes!)
What you see is the beautiful facade
Its real, its so real everyone looks at it and believes it is what they see.
After all, isn't seeing believing?
But if you are willing to let go of what you want to see,
You'll realise that what you saw wasn't there at all.
It was just a glamour, just an illusion, a trick of light on the eyes.

Its tragic really.

Me mom was like, "Are you ok? You seem strange today."

I'm not dying. So I guess I'm ok.

Song Quote! I realised I have all 3 of John Mayer's albums on my pod.

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
~Love Song for No One

What else can I do, but watch from the sidelines, hoping that you'll find your happiness.
But how it hurts.
How it hurts.

Shes got everything that I have to live without.

2009-03-23T04:57:00.000-07:00

Elaine asked me why I am always so smiley.
I noticed too.

I think its because I'm happy. (well, thats kind of obvious.)

But there are so many things to be happy about!

Like:
The friends
The boys (no, I'm kidding.)
The food
The weather
The picnic today
The nice people
Maisie
Passing Chemistry (finally.)
The hopes and dreams
The aspirations and how possible they are
Making other people happy
The rain
The family
The internet (roosterteeth yes?)
The internet friends. (I know them in real life too, don't worry.)
The Xbox 360. (I feel geeky.)
My Jesus. (yes he can be yours too if you want.)
The poetry
The music
The Mraz
The McFLY
The chocolate
The readily available bubble tea
The Old Chang Kee
The plentiful supply of cup noodles I have stashed away
The dinosaurs
and loads loads more

I guess the world becomes more beautiful once that factor kicks in.
Its so unfair.

I'm mind-mapping.
Its taking an AGE.

Deadlines.
I love the sound they make, especially when they go whooshing by.
^
That was some awesome the internet dished out to me yesterday!

2009-03-22T02:10:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my food spree at J8.
Its not much, but its a lot compared to what I usually buy.

1 apple pie, consumed on premises
2 cup noodles, chicken and tom yam (and omg the Tom Yam is so cheap that they didn't even put in prawns and thats why I can finally have tom yam noodles in such a long time!)
2 Old Chang Kee Chicken Wings
2 Old Chang Kee curry puffs

I was tempted to get the mushroom puff too (its awesom!) but I thought I wouldn't have much space for it after eating everything.

I was right.
My family are now benefiting from my food spree.
Whatever makes them happy.

And I was early for church today, so while waiting for Wee Sian, I was wondering if a person could fall in love with a random stranger even if they've already fallen for someone else?
I don't mean like, ok lets give it a go, this looks promising kind of fall, but a genuine one?

And when I got home with my food stash, Maisie came dashing out, tearing up the ground underneath her. She wanted the chicken wing I was eating.

I couldn't kiss her, because I had chicken and all. But she was standing very close to me on the bed I was sitting on. And I couldn't help wondering if I got chicken on her eye, would she try to lick her eye, or would she try to eat the chicken with her eye?

She loves food so much I'm sure she would try to eat with her pores.
I'm sure.

I asked her. She just licked her lips.

I decided not to try.

2009-03-20T06:13:00.000-07:00