i'm lucky i'm in love

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Haha Chingmay totally told me shocking, but hopeful fallacies today.

If they were true. X /

It was cathartic to tell her it was backwards.
Haha.

I really want to see the Watchmen.

A Haiku

No I cannot.
Today is not a poem day.

This is silly. Pointless blogging occurs when you only have one topic you wish to expound upon, and people are tired of reading about it already.

Labels: Look this way

Monday, March 30, 2009

I am tired.
This is my first headache of the year.
I think.

I have 19 biology essay questions to complete.
How?
I can't even bring myself to pick up the pen.

The Point of Not Caring

If you take a stroll
Past the point of not caring
You realise that along the way
You see figurines
Twisted, oddly shaped
Colourful, but clouded fuzzy images
Beautiful ugly relics of
The happiness they were disguised as
Behind colourless transparencies
Of crystal mud

If you take a walk
Beyond the point of not caring
You realise that you have finally done it
Only to be nearly pulled in by the shiny dark arms
Of idealism and hope
Because back then
Still now
A friendly gem remains
That reflects your
Wishes, hopes
And dreams

If you try and run
Past the point of not caring
Knowingly you kill something inside
That it never becomes
The same
Again
You assure yourself its
Nothing bad
Just another polished
Beautiful weight on
The person that you are
And will be

What does it take
The pass the point of not caring?
Another solution
That roots from the cause?
Another shiny promise
That so far and few in between
Drops from the sky?
If it has all been
False and
Killjoy
Then what is and when is?

As I shuffle towards the deepening,
The point melds
Into the line that says
It never really mattered.

I see F4 or Energy or some taiwan band on tv now.
I don't seem to be able to see/ hear their quality.

I have a headache and a pile of homework.

Labels: A scoop of Supreme Depressimo please

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Everybody Knows
-McFLY

Phyllis is right. I am fortunate.
Its all coming in stages, and I think God meant for it to be this way.
Its a learning journey where you learn.
It does make sense.

And for Earth Hour,
We had Dinner on the roof!
There were sooo many stars, and the zinc was cold and noisy but it was wonderful.
Then my sister and me lay down and we started singing star songs, as well as a rainbow song.
Then we hopped back in through the window and went to bed.

I like the roof.

Labels: Roofus.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Eliada had the stangest dream.
It is the weirdest, oddest, strangest dream.

Eliada, its not that funny.
You're mad.
: D

During Amath today, we were talking about TV shows.
I said House was good.
People said Heroes was good.
They said Prison Break was good (I said no, no, no)
Then Rui Han was like, "You should watch Survivor, its not a drama, but reality TV."
I was like, "I know."
Then everybody started laughing.
It was hilarious.

Labels: Look infront of you/ AAAH

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

LOVELY.

Erm, well now I'm kinda not so happy anymore : [

Its like looking at a glamour (reference to city of ashes!)
What you see is the beautiful facade
Its real, its so real everyone looks at it and believes it is what they see.
After all, isn't seeing believing?
But if you are willing to let go of what you want to see,
You'll realise that what you saw wasn't there at all.
It was just a glamour, just an illusion, a trick of light on the eyes.

Its tragic really.

Me mom was like, "Are you ok? You seem strange today."

I'm not dying. So I guess I'm ok.

Song Quote! I realised I have all 3 of John Mayer's albums on my pod.

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
~Love Song for No One

What else can I do, but watch from the sidelines, hoping that you'll find your happiness.
But how it hurts.
How it hurts.

Shes got everything that I have to live without.

Labels: This is a heart-rending period that some people go through.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Elaine asked me why I am always so smiley.
I noticed too.

I think its because I'm happy. (well, thats kind of obvious.)

But there are so many things to be happy about!

Like:
The friends
The boys (no, I'm kidding.)
The food
The weather
The picnic today
The nice people
Maisie
Passing Chemistry (finally.)
The hopes and dreams
The aspirations and how possible they are
Making other people happy
The rain
The family
The internet (roosterteeth yes?)
The internet friends. (I know them in real life too, don't worry.)
The Xbox 360. (I feel geeky.)
My Jesus. (yes he can be yours too if you want.)
The poetry
The music
The Mraz
The McFLY
The chocolate
The readily available bubble tea
The Old Chang Kee
The plentiful supply of cup noodles I have stashed away
The dinosaurs
and loads loads more

I guess the world becomes more beautiful once that factor kicks in.
Its so unfair.

I'm mind-mapping.
Its taking an AGE.

Deadlines.
I love the sound they make, especially when they go whooshing by.
^
That was some awesome the internet dished out to me yesterday!

Labels: Its bittersweet

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I just got back from my food spree at J8.
Its not much, but its a lot compared to what I usually buy.

1 apple pie, consumed on premises
2 cup noodles, chicken and tom yam (and omg the Tom Yam is so cheap that they didn't even put in prawns and thats why I can finally have tom yam noodles in such a long time!)
2 Old Chang Kee Chicken Wings
2 Old Chang Kee curry puffs

I was tempted to get the mushroom puff too (its awesom!) but I thought I wouldn't have much space for it after eating everything.

I was right.
My family are now benefiting from my food spree.
Whatever makes them happy.

And I was early for church today, so while waiting for Wee Sian, I was wondering if a person could fall in love with a random stranger even if they've already fallen for someone else?
I don't mean like, ok lets give it a go, this looks promising kind of fall, but a genuine one?

And when I got home with my food stash, Maisie came dashing out, tearing up the ground underneath her. She wanted the chicken wing I was eating.

I couldn't kiss her, because I had chicken and all. But she was standing very close to me on the bed I was sitting on. And I couldn't help wondering if I got chicken on her eye, would she try to lick her eye, or would she try to eat the chicken with her eye?

She loves food so much I'm sure she would try to eat with her pores.
I'm sure.

I asked her. She just licked her lips.

I decided not to try.

Labels: I wonder what its like to be whole?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Council camp : we were locked out of school after 7 when we went for dinner. We couldn't climb over the gate, after several attempts, and we didn't want to disturb the people with the keys, so we crawled under the side gate. I was surprised it was wide enough!

Too much emotion.

And when I got home, I helped to make a banner for some competition. The doodles were to fill up the extra space.

And this is dear Maisie. I caught her sleeping in this position in the afternoon. Shes an amazing dog.

Shes so awesome!

Labels: I wouldn't want to make you an X

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I had a Mcdonald's meal alone today.
It was awesome.

I was at the AMK branch, and I finally had the chance to buy the lunchtime meal, which is totally awesome cos I can get McWings at 4.50, instead of at the 6+++ rip off rate.

I smsed my sister, cos I was so happy I had to share it with someone: "McValue meal v cheap! I'm so happy XD"

She was working, so she was annoyed, but its ok.

Then my fries were crying out to be made structural, so I made this to feed myself with. Like totally organised, I know.

There was a little boy staring at my fry tower.
And then the most awesome thing happened.
Jason Mraz's Geek in the Pink started playing.
I couldn't take all that joy, so I took a piece of paper out and wrote this:

The little boy who was staring started dancing. He is such a cool little dude.
I started singing along.
Then I realised that my coke was sweating. I told it to chill out.

Its perfect.
And I still want my picnic.

Labels: On love/In sadness

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I think I've found my favourite spot in Zhonghua.

When its not recess or lunch, and when the canteen is relatively empty, sitting on the steps facing the field with the cow in it (just so you know its not the football field) is rather enjoyable.

I've sat there twice within a week.

The sun baked steps face a closed off field- it looks so peaceful and as if nothing can disturb the peace. Its not like anyone goes onto that patch of grass anyway.
The only problem with that place is that it is a high traffic area, and there are teachers walking towards the canteen from the staffroom.
Otherwise, its lovely to sit there alone and enjoy the view.

I might want to have a picnic on the grass someday.
Wonder if we'd get a scolding for bringing food "out" of the canteen.

Girls are scary creatures.

Labels: Do you see me?

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A new day
I've grown within those few minutes
Writing in prose
Isn't that difficult anymore
Blurred lines
Don't confine anymore
Trapped heart
Learned how to find a loophole
And sneak out unnoticed
Its amazing
How everything fits together
Unknowingly, its all literature
Theres a first to everything
How poetic

Labels: Poetic Licence

I think I need a private blog.
One that actually has NO viewers.
Somewhere I can write everything without anyone seeing it.
I'm not upset, because it wouldn't make sense to be.

The time has come to say goodbye
The sun is setting in the sky
The truth's turned out to be a lie
It's over, over
Hum yourself a lullaby
This is the end but baby don't you cry
-The Last Song, McFLY

I love McFLY, Jason Mraz and Oasis.
I will not love you.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Leaking water tires
Too much crying sounds around
I bet you did too!

Oh, man. Bad haikus. I should stop.

On the Motivational Camp:

Me: "Uh, do you want to come to the parent thing tomorrow?"

Mom:"Huh? I thought said not going already?"

Me:"I know, but its some camp thing..."

*pause*

Me:"You know, like the parent child bonding stuff?"

Mom:"Oh, those hug hug kind ah. No need la, we're so close already."

So much about worrying if I should ask.
I'm a happy kid.

Labels: I heart mom

Thursday, March 12, 2009

YAYHAPPYBIRTHDAYDANNYJONES!
Its Danny's 23rd birthday!
Hes still young!
I thought he was 25 or summin.
But yes, today is his birthday!

:]
There are so many causes for happiness right now.
I am happy.
And sleepy.
Full day motivational camp. The 10+ hours concentration. Super eye-closing.
Imma get some shut eye now.

Labels: Causes for happiness.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I can't describe this love thats swirling around.
Its all encompassing
For everything that exists on earth.
The unknown souls, the poetry, the beauty
All the songs that I'll ever quote
All the people that I'll ever laugh with
I think right now the peaceful loving overflows
So I love all of the above, even if they are from the future.

I love you in advance, just because its the right moment right now.
I hope it floats across the universe, this tiny fragment of emotion, colliding with anything in its path.
Generate it in yourself, duplicate, multiply, spread it to everyone around you.
Its time for a change in emotion.
No longer bored, but warm and fuzzy.

My association cloud:

Hip Puncher Smiles
Green Blue
Soft Threadless Glancey
Happy Legs Awesome
Rainbow Lost

Labels: Distilling the essence.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Eliada returned me my weathered Mraz album today.
Which gave me another opportunity to flaunt it.
Seriously, Mr. Mraz deserves to be flaunted.
Especially when the album is made from earth-friendly materials instead of the usual plastic.

We had our sec 4 english debates today.
We/Okri won.
I was contributing to Eliada's points on the sidelines with the summary speech.
And I realised how much debating techniques I still have with me.
It felt surprisingly good to get annoyed by blanket statements and irrelevant points.
The scribbling that looks like I'm writing a lot but is actually just 3 main points.

I'm surprised that I actually kinda sorta miss the debating scene.
But I'm done in that area.
How nice it would be to call myself a retired debator.
But its not like I was any good at it anyway.

I'm trying to take the same interest in Chemistry as I do in Biology.
Hope it takes away the conditioned "sleepy" feeling I get whenever chem is involved.

Chem is electrifying.
Yesssssss.

Goodness. This is the most personal post I've made in a long long while.

Don't touch me.

Labels: Its not like I have a problem or anything.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

I've realised that I can't find my perfect artist.

Suddenly I've realised that my musical tastes have rearranged, so subtly, perhaps while I was asleep.

Kate Nash, Jason Mraz, McFLY, Arctic Monkeys, OK GO, Weezer, Matt Costa.

They were more awesome in the past.

Ok, Jason Mraz is still pretty awesome. But theres this connecting thing that I can't quite explain.

I think music has been marketed into creating frenzied consumers, hungry for new content. Music should be appreciated, not demanded.
But its becoming like an obsession with the new and the better. Everyone is watching for the next hit single, waiting to listen, to judge, to label, in order to put everything in a box.

Not that its bad news for the musicians, but.

Providence Pokes Me in The Eyes
(a sudden poem)

Another cloud approaches
Not today
Will it descend
How so?
From where does it
Accumulate grow and abscond?
To suddenly creep towards
From the line of the horizon

Yes, it approaches
All I can do is to prepare
From where does it come?
I cannot fathom
Except for the suspicion that
From within it anchors
Is it my own creation?
Dubious
But sneaking suspicions
Attack, distract

I would like to blame you
But you have done nothing
To warrant this attack
Perhaps unknowingly
The essence of you
The ripples that you cause
Waves that you emanate
Kickstart this
Generating black clouds that
Visit and abandon
Hide and seek

If it come to attention
To purposefully direct
Your sudden warmth
It would come as a welcome
Surprise
But spare it
For out of pity
Would more clouds develop
Since no consistency is borne
Out of no sincerity

Go your way
Levelling up
In your own world
It could bear those monsters
You miss out
The glass you peer through
Is tinted
Age is as a tiny, intruiging pattern that
Make focus lose its way
The innocence is remarkable
But your green douses that spark
~

Providence has just poked me in the eyes, yet again. Sometimes MSN makes life so much harder than easier.

Labels: Poked to death. By accident.